Showing posts with label #survivorculture. Show all posts
Showing posts with label #survivorculture. Show all posts

Tuesday, August 28, 2018

Breaking News: I Have Withdrawn My Appeal

Late last week, I decided to withdraw my appeal. The decision was passed on yesterday to Jeff “Sugarland” Chiow, attorney for Dysfunctional Bob and Grace Episcopal Church, who apparently reacted badly to the news. That’s amusing, as my decision gives him everything he wants, unless he was hoping to stick it to me, which wasn’t going to happen. (Of course, given Jeff’s Christian worldview, there’s no possibility he was thinking in those terms. Yeah, right.)

Despite having spent well over $20,000 already, the move was not based on finances. Instead, it was based on my belief that Dysfunctional Bob and St. Dysfunction simply aren’t worth the effort. I couldn’t care less about either, except to share my negative experiences with both. And I have no desire to go anywhere near the great, oozing crock of karmic filth that is the church, so who cares? 

At the same time, Jeff “Sugarland” Chiow’s dilatory conduct in this matter, together with his inflammatory, prejudicial language, and his decision to try to drag a dying mother into court, have well illustrated for onlookers just how toxic the church is, and have provided unique insights into Jeff’s professional ethics, as well as those of Dysfunctional Bob. In addition, one gets a good feel for the realities of their Christian faith, or lack thereof. Or, put in other terms, when the first article ran on The Wartburg Watch, there was not a single commenter who supported Leslie Malm and our famous “long-time parishioner” (otherwise affectionately known as “the Rabid Chihuahua,”) and their ad hominem attacks. And nothing that’s transpired since has resulted in any additional favorable publicity for St. Dysfunction. See below for exact quotes:



Loyal inhabitants of Planet Malm will continue to insist what a wonderful place it is, but few onlookers agree. Meanwhile, I doubt anyone would use the phrase “love or concern for Eric” in any of Jeff “Sugarland” Chiow’s actions, or those of Dysfunctional Bob—and let’s not even touch on the issue of conduct towards Mom.

So, what next?

I will continue my efforts through at least Feburary 2020, and probably until Bob retires. In that regard, Bob has one major disadvantage, which is that I can outlast him. He’s no spring chicken, and the demographics of the parish aren’t doing him any favors.

Meanwhile, it’s a safe bet that there will be a canonical proceeding in 2019 against Dysfunctional Bob under the new anti-retaliation provisions of Title IV. Knowing The Episcopal Church, it will undoubtedly mess things up, or claim that Bob’s actions don’t amount to retaliation. (Bob also has a track record of questionable veracity apropos these issues.) After all, shunning, bullying and harassment are not of weighty and material importance to the ministry of The Episcopal Church, so why would retaliation count for anything? (And yes, I have the former in writing.) But hey, I’m always down for a good time.

Nor should anyone feel bad for the church. The intake officer who handled the summer 2015 complaint of retaliation against Bob, the Rev. Randall Prior, recommended conciliation, but apparently Bishop Shannon, in his infinite wisdom, decided to overrule that recommendation. Indeed, when I asked the Rev. Prior about the misuse of our donations, I asked if the bishops understood that misuse of restricted solicitations is illegal. He replied that they did, but they didn’t want to get involved. So it is clear to me that Bishop Shannon is prepared to condone illegal behavior. (Subsequently, the Rev. Prior was released as an intake officer. Sounds suspiciously like a coverup to me.) 

In fact, the diocese didn’t even provide notice of its decision. Yet later, Bishop Shannon feigned ignorance, saying he would make sure he found out why my complaints had been mishandled. The answer, I think, looks him in the mirror every morning.

In all of this, it seems to me that there’s one given, which is that five years from now St. Dysfunction will be a much smaller place. But who knows? Maybe Dysfunctional Bob will do all involved a favor and pack his lazy, self-entitled backside off to Jekyll Island. But he seems to thrive on the unwarrranted adulation, so that may not happen any time soon. Nor is that going to change my assessment of the place, which is that once you peel the outward layers of friendly behavior, you find a seriously screwed up, organizationally narcissistic church just inside, in which there is limited accountability, no planning for the future, bad financial management, inappropriate behavior by clergy, staff and parish “leadership,” an over-indulged rector, and a disturbing reliance on borrowing, versus saving.

Just look at Jeff “Sugarland” Chiow’s behavior in this matter.


Thursday, August 23, 2018

Breaking News: Settlement Offer Received, Total Waste of Time

We have some late-breaking developments from St. Dysfunction. Jeff “Sugarland” Chiow, Dysfunctional Bob’s attorney, sent over a proposed settlement agreement yesterday — a complete waste of time for both sides.

At this juncture, I don’t feel it’s appropriate to share specifics, but there’s one really notable thing about the proposal, which is that there is nothing in it that even remotely suggests that the other party is a church, let alone that the individuals involved claim to be Christians. All it is is a relatively badly drafted quasi-commercial release and satisfaction, and ludicrously one-sided at that. Additionally, nothing in the proposal would stop Dysfunctional Bob from his usual behind-the-scenes manipulation and innuendo aka “Is that healthy?” (Think a really narcissistic group of sorority sisters, and you’d have a good idea of Bob’s antics. Petty plots, power plays, who’s popular, who’s not. And heaven help you if you offend the girls in the “in crowd”—you won’t get invited to the next Tri Delt rush party. Horrors!)

Then there’s the perennial issue of Defamation Per Se Leslie Malm, and her claims that I am a stalker. Obviously, as an adult, she is responsible for her own actions, and since I do not view women as chattel, I don’t expect that Bob can or should control her actions. That said, nothing in the agreement would address those issues, and I am following up on those matters separately.

That said, you have to hand it to Dysfunctional Bob: He has probably managed a first in American jurisprudence, which is making a settlement offer in a protective order case. In all my years of practicing law, I never ran into such a scenario, as these cases are among the most binary out there. Someone either hurt you, or threatened you, or they didn’t. Easy-cheesy, and damned straightforward.

That, of course, speaks to whether Bob really feels threatened, and the answer is that it’s facially obvious he doesn’t. This whole situation is about his need for power and control, and his lack of a Christian worldview. And it’s telling, too — nowhere in this do you see any concern on Bob’s part for the reputational harm he’s causing to the church. Nor is my stopping blogging the answer; people may find Bob engaging, but at the end of the day they’re not stupid, and they know the difference between bullying and Christian behavior. Thus, they have a pretty good handle on Bob and his motives at this point, and it must be damned disheartening to realize that, in Bob’s case, it’s all a sham.

Of course, as one person close to the matter said to me, “We both know Bob’s not a real priest.” And to that I say, “Truer words were never spoken.” And it has nothing to do with Catholic, or Episcopal, or Orthodox, or high church versus low church or broad church. It has to do with Bob’s worldview, which is that his is a job, nothing more. Thus, one should not expect much from someone who’s basically a superannuated frat boy.

So, things continue to go forward, just in time for the fall pledge drive.

Fun times on Sorority Row.

Wednesday, August 8, 2018

Breaking News: Now the #Churchtoo Correspondent for @SurvivorCulture

As folks know, I’m not particularly good at sitting still. And that’s never more true than now, when dealing with a recent death in the family and two terminally ill family members.

That said, I just accepted an opportunity to help sexual abuse survivors who’ve experienced trauma in the context of church and faith communities. Should be fun, and it ties in well with the church boundaries courses I am teaching.

More to come!

Tuesday, August 7, 2018

Breaking News: Now the #Churchtoo Correspondent for @SurvivorCulture

As folks know, I’m not particularly good at sitting still. And that’s never more true than now, when dealing with a recent death in the family and two terminally ill family members.

That said, I just accepted an opportunity to help sexual abuse survivors who’ve experienced trauma in the context of church and faith communities. Should be fun, and it ties in well with the church boundaries courses I am teaching.

More to come!