Friday, July 12, 2019
Here’s another good one from Bob Malm. On the one hand, Bob went to court, claiming that folks at Grace were “terrorized” by my Mom’s blog, which he claims I wrote. Yet in this email exchange with parishioner Easter Thompson, he claims no one at the church takes me seriously. So which is it?
Of course, Bob made a similar statement in January to the bishop, in which he said that his wife and daughter both take this more seriously than they should.
In the meantime, that begs the question: How did Easter Thompson get it in her head that my assertions are not based on fact/truth? Leaving aside the fact that I don’t recall God assigning Easter the role of “judge of all men,” there is written documention of almost every issue, ranging from Bob’s illegal use of restricted solicitations, to his bullying, to his order to parish staff to shun and exclude us, to his courtroom perjury. Nor do I see Easter making any effort to resolve the conflict, yet she proclaims herself a Christian.
Interesting that Easter is so comfortable passing judgment on others when she has no firsthand knowledge of the matter. It’s perhaps telling too that Bob felt no need to invoke the vestry prior to his decision to shun us. It’s only when he got pushback that he decided to pull in the vestry—a vestry that he has, on more than one occasion, apparently lied to, as evinced by the vestry’s “talking points,” in which he claims that we left on our own. If that’s the case, why then did Bob admit to the contrary during the meeting with the bishop?
No wonder people are abandoning organized religion. And you surely have to wonder what Easter’s objection is to the Anglican Consultative Commission’s work.
In the meantime, Easter, if you’re sick of stuff like my work on the Anglican Consultative Commission’s efforts, don’t friggin’ read it. And if you object to my actions, Easter, how about having the integrity to share your concerns directly with me, versus triangulating with Bob? It’s called having a spine.
Ditto for Kemp Williams and his comments.
Friday, April 5, 2019
Here’s another lie by Bob Malm. In this email, sent to parishioner Easter Thompson, Bob Malm tells her that no one who knows Grace Church takes me seriously. That’s an interesting and false claim; discussion below the break.
- On the one hand, Bob’s email tries to throw shade on my concerns by essentially saying that no one in the know agrees. Yet those concerns repeatedly have been experienced by others, including those “in the know.” For example, the Rev. Anne Turner, who once served as Bob’s assistant rector, has provided pastoral care to a member of the altar guild who allegedly was bullied by Linda Waskowiscz. During her time at Grace, Anne also experienced outbursts from the church office staff. Thus, bullying within the church and by office staff is well-substantiated, and has been experienced by someone intimately familiar with the parish.
- On the other hand, Bob’s statement also contradicts his later assertions that people are “terrorized” by me. If no one takes me seriously, how are they terrorized?
The third aspect, of course, is that this illustrates the crux of Bob ‘s bullying. Not only does he play people against each other, but his comments are decidedly contrary to the values set forth in the gospels, and inappropriate as a pastoral matter. (Screen caps from “Ten Signs Your Church is Bullying You,” found here.)
Indeed, dismissing concerns from church members is itself a form of bullying.
Or, put another way, the more Bob tries to brush off my concerns, the more he proves that they are warranted, including that Bob himself is toxic, and that his behavior is inappropriate. Meanwhile, the fact that parishioners like Easter Thompson can receive emails like the one in question and not see anything wrong with Bob’s conduct makes clear that the church has become toxic at every level. (Easter’s comments also are noteworthy in that she’s never said anything directly to me, despite the fact that she has my contact information. Triangulation, anyone? And how she sees any connection between writing generally on church abuse and Grace Church is beyond me. Perhaps it’s time for Easter to reduce her consumption of alcohol.)
Lastly, as I have stated in previous posts, no agreement to “follow the bishop’s....directives,” was made in Fredericksburg. That is a bold-faced lie — and nonsensical, as well, for I was not a member of the diocese of Virginia by the time Bob wrote this email.
Saturday, August 25, 2018
This is another great email. In it, Bob falsely asserts that I violated our ceasefire, despite the fact he knows full well that I offered to try to mediate when tensions escalated following the various obscene communications we got from members of the church, including one that urged me to commit suicide. (Frankly, I don’t know any parent or friend who wouldn’t be up in arms at this sort of behavior, especially coming from a church.)
Don’t you love how Bob puts apology in quotes? Clearly, he’s doing so to beg meaning, which tells us that his apology was never sincere. Not that I had any doubts on that score, especially when his first try included a “I’m sorry that you were upset, but....” line in it. Nothing like a fake apology to irritate people even further. Nor was I aware that the bishop’s office constitutes a legal authority. But then, given Bob’s mediocre education, I guess one has to expect this sort of conflation.
It’s amusing too. Bob doesn’t take things seriously...he just ran out and claimed he was being threatened because he was bored and the weather wasn’t conducive to golf, I’m guessing. LOL
Which is it, Bob?
Hmm, guessing Easter’s not a big fan of the First Amendment, LOL. It’s interesting, too, that Easter considers discussion of the work of the Anglican Consultative Commission on the safe church initiative to be “garbage.” And that she apparently claims the ability to assess what is true and what isn’t when she was never even a part of the issues behind this conflict.
And, as always, it’s the whole corporate narcissism of Grace Church. As in, “what’s in it for us?”, with no concern for the larger issues, including Bob Malm’s inappropriate conduct, or the fact you’ve had multiple people leave the Christian faith over behavior within the parish.