Showing posts with label Grace Episcopal Alexandria. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Grace Episcopal Alexandria. Show all posts

Monday, May 20, 2019

Another 250 Homes Leafletted This Morning

And more later this week — all sharing the bad news of Bob Malm, and a denomination that says perjury is okay for clergy as long as they aren’t convicted. 

Yes, that would be the Episcopal Church.

Friday, May 10, 2019

DioVA Response to Abuse Mirrors Failures in Church of England

As many now know, an independent commission in the UK recently released a scathing report on abuse in the Church of England. The report had its genesis in allegations of abuse involving Bishop Ball, who had ties that extended all the way to the British royal family.

Sadly, the report sounds very much like the Diocese of Virginia and the way the latter handles allegations of clergy misconduct, particularly in regard to Bob Malm’s ongoing abuse of power. Indeed, change the names and you have my experience, almost verbatim.

Noting that the Church of England had, in multiple cases, protected its reputation at the expense of victims, it went on to outline in damning terms an ongoing series of reprehensible moral failures, including:
  • Discounting Ball’s conduct as “trivial and insignificant” while displaying “callous indifference” to the complaints of victims.
  • Delaying a proper investigation into the matter for two decades.
  • Failing to have sufficient regard for the well-being of those injured by Ball’s abuse.
  • Issuing an unconvincing apology.
  • Giving a popular priest preferential treatment, while demonstrating a lack of compassion for the victims.
This willingness to utterly disregard all moral and ethical reference points when convenient appears to me to be endemic in organized religion, and particularly prevalent in The Episcopal Diocese of Virginia. Indeed, the only thing the latter appears to do well is to litigate over property. But without love or compassion, or genuine concern for others, why bother? The litigation, which I foolishly supported, was a complete waste of time and money. In short, it was the proverbial case of two bald men fighting over a comb.

Here’s a screen cap summarizing the findings in the Church of England report.

Sunday, April 28, 2019

Protests This Week

Things have been a bit busy lately, with the result that I haven’t been able to protest as much as usual. But lest anyone conclude that this presages a general slowdown, rest assured that I’ll be out at least two days this week. Plans also include leafleting a swath of Beverly Hills that I have not previously done.

Busy week ahead!

Saturday, March 16, 2019

New Signage: Bob Malm, Perjuring Priest

New signage, just in time for Lent!

Oh, and when Bob inevitably tries to lie his way out of this one, just ask him for his proof that my Mom made an appointment with him. Ever.

Yet under oath Bob claims she did. 

Bob Malm, perjuring priest 

Thursday, March 14, 2019

Bob Malm’s Many Lies

Here, in a concise visual format, is a summary of some of Bob Malm’s lies. Some were lies he told to me. Others are lies he has told about me. Several were made under oath, and thus constitute perjury.

Of course, if Bob Malm wishes to produce documentation that my Mom has made appointments with him, for example, I am happy to publish that here. That said, unless he is prepared to fabricate that as well, he has no such proof.

Bob’s lies told under oath include:
  • That my Mom made appointments with him.
  • That his wife Leslie is the only family member that he knew to have blogged about our conflict. (He knew at the time he made the statement that his daughter Lindsey had as well.)
  • That I was never licensed as an attorney.
  • That I never served as police officer.
  • That I violated the existing court order.
Bob’s lie about trustees was told in front of Bishop Shannon Johnston and Canon Pat Wingo in Fredericksburg, and confirmed by his failure to produce documents, which my lawyer requested, to support his claim.

Bob’s lie about the church office staff was told to me in the church offices. I later found out that Bob allegedly told the same lie to Phil Smith several years prior, when the latter served as junior warden.

Keep in mind, too, that per the Episcopal canons, clergy are held to a higher standard. So if Bob tells you, “Well, we were pretty sure Eric never practiced law, so that came as a surprise,” ask when it became okay to present speculation as facts when offering pleadings in court. Then ask where the higher standard is for clergy. Keep in mind, too, that at no point did Bob add an sort of disclaimer, such as “based on our research, we believe that Mr. Bonetti did not practice law.” Instead, these were presented as facts, with no disclaimers or qualification.

Of course, the big granddaddy of all Bob’s lies is that he was threatened. Examining his own filing shows that he took words out of context in facially ludicrous fashion. For example, the presence of the word “suicide” on a blog does not constitute a threat, either as practical matter nor as a point of law. Similarly, Mom’s longstanding handle, “the Killer B’s,” is also used by members of pro sports teams, as well as a band in Richmond. Are those threats?

So, Bob is either a liar, or he’s a complete and total whack-a-doodle. They’re not mutually exclusive, however; my opinion is that Bob is both.

That also raises an interesting issue: Jeff “Sugarland” Chiow has said he represents the church, Bob, and Bob’s wife, Leslie. With ample evidence available to Jeff that his client has lied, is he obligated to act in Bob’s best interest? The church’s? If it’s the former, Sugarland is obligated to maintain a confidence. If it’s the latter, he may have obligations to disclose to the parish. Certainly, Sugarland’s aiding and abetting Bob’s perjury has not done much to help the church’s standing in the community, and it makes a mockery of the whole notion of Lent as a season of repentance and introspection. But then, given Sugarland’s inclusion of various fabrications as well as inflammatory rhetoric in his pleadings, I wouldn’t look to Jeff as a source of ethical conduct.

Bob Malm’s lies

Friday, March 8, 2019

Episcopal Diocese of Virginia Still Refuses to Even Investigate Allegations of Priest Bob Malm’s Perjury

As many of you know, in January 2018, Episcopal priest Bob Malm, my former rector, went to court, falsely claiming I had threatened him. Many, myself included, were suprised when the court ruled in his favor, despite a total lack of evidence that I, or anyone else, had threatened Bob.

I appealed, and Bob lied throughout much of the appeal process, including under oath. Thus, I believe Bob committed perjury.

Among his lies:
  • That my mother, terminally ill, had made various appointments with him and no-showed.
  • That only his wife had blogged about our conflict; the Alexandria police department directly contradicted this statement, indicating that his daughter, Lindsey Malm Anders, was actually the primary blogger.
  • That I was never licensed to practice law (retired PA attorney ID 55971).
  • That I had never served as a police officer. (Inter alia, former Arlington County volunteer officer).
  • That I had violated the existing protective order.
Note that the statements, made in court filings, about my having allegedly not been an attorney and having allegedly not served as a police officer were not proferred to the court as opinions, or as the unproven results of legal research. Instead, they were proffered as facts.

Both at the time of these incidents and subsequently, I informed the Episcopal diocese of Virginia about Malm’s perjury. I even directly emailed both Bishop Shannon and Bishop Susan Goff. Neither responded, nor have they taken any action to investigate my claims.

Malm still serves as rector of Grace Episcopal Church in Alexandria. Bishop Goff still is the ecclesiastical authority for the Diocese of Virginia.

At a time when the Catholic Church finally is disclosing abuse after years of concealment and coverup, the Episcopal Diocese of Virginia is making every effort to conceal, cover-up, and avoid dealing with Bob Malm’s abusive, illegal, and unethical actions.

This Lent, know this: There is nothing Christian about the Episcopal Diocese of Virginia. Its only goal is to avoid accountability.

#bobmalm #fakechristians #perjury @thediocese @graceepisalexva 

Monday, March 4, 2019

More Mockery of Church Sexual Abuse Survivors from Grace Episcopal Alexandria

Yet more unhealthy, abusive comments from Grace Church, almost certainly written by Bob Malm’s daughter, Lindsey Malm Anders. 

The fact Bob and his family think it’s okay to talk to other people like this tells you everything you need to know about this sad, dysfunctional priest and his toxic church.

Tuesday, February 26, 2019

Grace Episcopal Church Mocks Clergy Sex Abuse Survivors

In case it wasn’t already painfully obvious, members of Grace Episcopal Church have again demonstrated just how thoroughly ethically and spiritually bankrupt the church is.

Following are posts, most likely by Dysfunctional Bob Malm’s daughter Lindsey Malm Anders, in response to my recent decision to share the fact that I was sexually abused by an Episcopal priest as a child.

Anyone, or any organization, that thinks it’s okay to ridicule a survivor of clergy sexual abuse is not only morally bereft, but one sick individual. Or to use Bob Malm’s words, “sick and twisted.” 

Of course, with Dysfunctional Bob as a role model, no suprise there.

Wednesday, February 20, 2019

Grace Episcopal Alexandria Auditors, Beware: Documentation of Intentional Misuse of Funds

Grace Episcopal Alexandria financial auditors, beware! Shortly after Dysfunctional Bob Malm issued his Edict of Shunning against me and Mike, Dysfunctional Bob deliberately misused restricted donations by using them in a manner other than that specified in the solicitation. Such use is at best breach of contract, and at worst, fraud. Bob accomplished this by instructing church staff that our names were to be omitted from all church publications. Later, he tried to weasel out of things, stating in writing that the funds were “properly recorded.” But that is a red herring, as they were solicited with the express understanding that they be recognized in the church bulletin.

As a result of Dysfunctional Bob’s actions, we filed a complaint with the Fairfax County Office of Consumer Protection, where we prevailed.

So, if you’re considering giving money to Grace Episcopal Church, just know that Bob Malm has few scruples in this space. So, ask yourself what would prevent a similar situation from happening to you.

The answer? Nothing.

If you’re an auditor or prospective lender, keep in mind—you’re dealing with a church that has a successful consumer affairs complaint against it.

Caveat emptor.

Wednesday, December 19, 2018

New York State Senator Urges Opponent to Commit Suicide. Members of Grace Episcopal Would Approve

A state senator recently told an opponent, “Kill Yourself,’ via a tweet, but later deleted the tweet and apologized. That’s a step up from Grace Episcopal, where a college-aged member of the parish urged me to “go kill [myself],” but has never retracted her post. Moreover, the latter enjoys the tacit endorsement of the Virginia Episcopal bishops, as +Shannon has said, in writing, that he supports Bob Malm and Leslie Steffensen, and that “these matters were investigated and resolved long ago.”

So glad that these matters have been addressed to Bishop Shannon’s satisfaction.

In the meantime, if this is Bob Malm’s idea of “God’s Kingdom,” or +Shannon’s idea, they can keep it. No thanks.

Check it out.

Monday, November 26, 2018

Resignations for “Personal Reasons” Climb, Possibly Due to Bob Malm’s Weird Claims of “Domestic Terrorism”

Did you notice something about Grace Episcopal Alexandria over the past year? While the place has never been a model of openness and transparency, the past year has seen an increase in the number of resignations for “personal reasons.”

Consider: Fanny Belanger resigned for “personal reasons” about the same time as Bob Malm’s abortive effort to drag my mother, dying of COPD, into court. Similarly, Jon Doelp, who I always found to be a person of integrity and who was in line to be the 2019 treasurer, resigned abruptly, again for personal reasons.

Of course, we’ve also seen several “quiet departures,” including Elizabeth Locher, who decided she was better off being a stay-at-home mother and just serving as supply clergy.

No doubt some of this had to do with the parish’s decision to try to shift health care costs to staff. Bob lingers on, living the good life with more than a month at the beach every year, an almost $200K annual income, and next to no accountability. Yet assistant rectors, who don’t earn a living wage, get to pick up the tab for part of their insurance? Not only is that a form of regressive taxation, but it puts the lie to the church’s claims of social justice and compassion.

Meanwhile, spurred on by Dysfunctional Bob and Jeff Sugarland Chiow, the church wastes money on stupid stuff, like Bob’s “single button emergency transmitters,” despite the fact that staff, including the director of music, head of school, and Bob himself, already have panic buttons. (Tellingly, Bob never actually carries his.)

My bet is that we’ll see more departures for “personal reasons” as Grace’s finances and attendance continue to decline. And that should come as no surprise, given Bob Malm’s weird claims of being threatened by “domestic terrorists.”

Saturday, November 24, 2018

Grace Episcopal: Another Amusing and Clueless Review

Amidst the continuing public controversy over Bob Malm’s claims that he’s being pursued by “domestic terrorists,” an older member of the parish recently posted a clueless, amusing, and rather telling review of the parish on Google reviews. I’ll leave the person’s name out, as it’s not germane to this post, but instead focus on the ways in which this review, intended to be positive, says far more that it intends to.

First, some context. Several years ago, the author of the positive review allegedly launched an almost year-long campaign of the silent treatment towards an altar guild chair after the latter — horror of horrors — allowed the women to choose whether to wear the traditional blue smocks. Leaving aside the ludicrously stupid reason behind her actions, shunning a fellow church member over an issue such as this — one that was approved by the rector — is anything but Christian. Moreover, there have been numerous complaints over the years about this person bullying, yet nothing ever is done about it. (I have personally witnessed more than one member of the altar guild in tears due to this person’s conduct.) So any reference from this person is, at best, of dubious quality.

Second, this person refers to Bob Malm has her “friend” for more than 28 years. That also speaks volumes, as your priest is not your friend. That’s right—she or he may be friendly towards you, but he or she cannot be your friend and have a healthy pastoral relationship with you. So, I hate to break it to folks, but that is a boundary issue right there.

Third, this person says she has complete trust in Bob Malm. One can trust someone, and still hold them accountable; the two are not mutually exclusive. Nor is Bob’s misconduct a matter of trust. It is an empirically verifiable fact that, inter alia, Bob’s legal pleadings contain multiple falsehoods. Similarly, the vestry’s own minutes document the years of shoddy management and inept financial reporting. So too can one verify Bob’s efforts to force us out of the parish, his efforts to drag a dying woman into court, and his weird claims that he’s threatened by domestic terrorism. And of course, there is the falsehood in the vestry talking points where it is claimed that Mike and I left on our own. If that was the case, why then did Bob find it necessary to send us an email telling us to leave? Or to instruct staff to exclude us? Even the friggin’ vestry at Grace Church lies.

In short, no matter how you parse it, Grace Episcopal Alexandria is a hot mess, and one that is fast coming unraveled due to Bob Malm’s own vile, vicious, and vindictive behavior. Giving Bob and the bad behavior that happens all too often in the church air cover simply exacerbates the situation and causes third parties to look and say, “Wow, this place is really clueless.”

Friday, November 2, 2018

As You Consider Pledging This Fall...


Any church that feels that it has to:
  • lie in order to protect its future
  • call former members “domestic terrorists”
  • try dragging a dying woman into court
  • urge members to commit suicide
Doesn’t deserve your support. 

And if you do support this behavior, then you are part of the problem.

Monday, October 29, 2018

Check it Out: Medical Doctor Comments After Seeing Bob Malm’s Written Claims of “Domestic Terrorism”

Attached are screen caps of comments a physician made after reviewing Bob Malm’s written comments in which he accuses me of being a “domestic terrorist.” Note that I express no opinion about her remarks, nor whether they apply to Bob Malm.

Dysfunctional Bob Malm and Jeff “Sugarland” Chiow: Despicable Conduct in Light of the Synagogue Shootings

Dysfunctional Bob Malm and Jeff “Sugarland” Chiow have much to apologize for following the recent shootings at the Tree of Life Synagogue. Specifically, by attempting to manipulate perceptions — within the parish, within the Alexandria police department, and via their outrageous, inflammatory court filings —- and falsely claiming that criticism of their actions is “domestic terrorism,” they disrespect all who have been effected by the horrific incident in Pittsburgh, as well as similar events elsewhere. 

In short, using the buzzwords “domestic terrorism” and insinuations of mental illness to try to shut down First Amendment-protected speech is disingenuous, disrespectful, and deceitful to victims of violence, to me and my family, and indeed to anyone who professes to adhere to the bapstimal covenant or Christian values. It is a despicable act of manipulation, and people can see right through it.

Will either Bob Malm or Jeff Chiow be man enough to actually belly up to the bar and retract their comments?  I mean, they even went so far as to make up a fictional church shooting in the fictional town of “Sugarland Texas.” Does it get any lower?

If the past indeed is prologue to the future, it is highly unlikely that either one will take responsibility for their actions.

And any faith, denomination or church in which clergy and the parish attorney have no accountability is a total crock, and you can quote me on that. And if I were a survivor of the shooting, or had lost someone in the shooting, I’d be shocked and appalled that Bob Malm and Jeff Chiow are playing games with serious issues such as these.