Showing posts with label Grace Episcopal Church. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Grace Episcopal Church. Show all posts

Saturday, January 25, 2020

Bob Malm: Club Protest Membership Countdown


By virtue of trying to shutdown criticism by going to court with his facially false claims that he had been threatened, pseudo-priest Bob Malm and Grace Episcopal signed up for the two-year membership at Club Protest. No refunds, late payments result in an extension of membership. And his decision to include Mike in his vendetta, his multiple lies in court, and his efforts to subpoena a dying woman, all mean Bob gets the special VIP add-on package — my online presence will continue ad infinitum. That’s right, Dysfunctional Bob gets the lifetime virtual membership. Hey, Bob always did think he was special. Well, he’s right.

So, this countdown timer doesn’t mark the countdown to an end to open hostilities. But it does mark the payout of Dysfunctional Bob’s basic Club Protest membership.That said, I have always believed in under-promise, over-deliver, so I also will no doubt extend Bob’s basic membership well beyond his original contract.

Hey, if he behaves, maybe we can even spot Bob some core body fitness tips. Heaven knows he’s been looking rather well-fed in recent years. And it fits — Grace Church aka St. Dysfunction is looking a whole lot leaner and meaner these days.

See you at Dysfunction Junction aka Malm Square(d)!

Thursday, January 23, 2020

Bob Malm’s Perjury

Below is Bob’s written statement, made under oath during the discovery phase of our litigation, in which he committed perjury. Mom has NEVER made an appointment with him—of that I am certain. If nothing else, she loathes him. Why would she even want to meet with him? Nor has anyone made an appointment on her behalf or claiming to be her. Period.

Nor is Bob’s perjury inconsequential. Instead, it goes to the very heart of his lies about how he’s been threatened, as he cites this as part of the basis for his conclusion that Mom’s blog actually is mine. So Bob is either guilty of perjury, or he is innocent of perjury by virtue of the fact that he is so mentally ill that he cannot differentiate between truth and his lies.

Bob Malm Perjury












And here is where Bob swore that this statement was the truth; he took his oath before Jane Rosman on April 5, 2018. Jeff Chiow’s signature follows.




And when Bob Malm inevitably tries to lie his way out of this, simply ask him for evidence to support his claim. He has none.

Bob Malm’s statement is a lie. 

Bob Malm’s statement is perjury.

Bob Malm, perjuring priest.

Wednesday, January 22, 2020

Check it Out: Unless You’re Convicted, Perjury Is Okay for Clergy in The Episcopal Church

Here’s a good one: Another Title IV notice of dismissal from the Episcopal Diocese of Virginia.

Where to start?
  • First, there is no requirement of a criminal conviction for conduct to be prohibited under Title IV. Indeed, Canon IV.4.1(h.6) makes clear that conduct involving dishonesty, fraud, deceit or misrepresentation is forbidden, period.
  • Second, it is not the role of the intake officer to assess whether a violation has taken place. It’s simply to ask two questions: If true, would the matter complained of be a violation of the canons and, if so, would it be “of weighty and material importance to the ministry of the church.” Nothing more. Beyond that, the reference panel handles everything.
  • Third, there is no Title IV requirement of confidentiality apropos laity, and I refuse to be silenced by the church.  Requesting silence from those hurt by the church is highly inappropriate, just as is the case with the non-disclosure agreements of the Catholic Church.
  • Fourth, the Episcopal Diocese of Virginia has repeatedly ousted clergy for violations of Title IV, even when the complaint involves criminal conduct but there is no conviction. Out of respect for others, I don’t plan to publicly share specifics, but it is at best disingenuous for the diocese to contend that conviction is a prerequisite for a successful Title IV complaint.
  • Fifth, as of January 1, 2019, the identity of complainants is confidential per the express provisions of Title IV. So why is Bob copied on this and provided with my name? The diocese itself has violated Title IV.
  • Sixth, the diocese has repeatedly refused to provide the pastoral response required under Title IV, which must occur any time a complaint is made to the intake officer. Yes, even in cases of dismissal.
  • Seventh, police don’t charge suspects. Commonwealth attorneys do. Perjury also is notoriously hard to prosecute, so Mr. vanBaars essentially is saying that perjury is fair game for Episcopal clergy.
Screwed up, thy name is Episcopal.







Wednesday, July 17, 2019

Best Description Yet for Grace Episcopal, aka St. Dysfunction



One of the recurring themes on this blog, predictably enough, is the extent of spiritual and practical dysfunction at Grace Episcopal Church. Ironically, one of the best descriptions of this situation comes from Jesus, who referred to the Scribes and Pharisees as “whitewashed tombs,” beautiful on the outside, yet reeking and full of filth on the inside.

And so it is, both with the church itself and Bob Malm. 

Apropos Grace Church, the building is lovely, and people are friendly. Walking in on a Sunday, visitors are warmly welcomed. The sunlight plays through the gorgeous stained glass windows, and the wonderful smell of incense permeates the entire building.

Similarly, Bob is very focused on physical appearance, and thus presents well as a priest. He’s friendly, engaging, seemingly self confident (if somewhat too loud), and charismatic. He also knows all the requisite Jesus-babble, delivering well-crafted, if pointedly short, sermons in which all the key phrases are there, “the shadow of the cross,” “the way of love,” “called to follow Jesus.” And he’s careful to use the present tense and to use us and we.

But scratch the surface and one quickly sees a far different reality. The altar guild has no qualms about ganging up on anyone who it thinks has infringed on its God-given prerogatives. Like all churches, people in the pews gossip, although at Grace they seem to have even fewer off-limits topics, with conversation ranging from Bob’s insanely generous compensation package (no, he is not one of the highest paid priests in the country, although he is wildly overpaid given the size of the parish, his work ethic, and other benchmarks), to one parishioner’s supposed penile implant, to speculation about the sexual orientation of one recently married parishioner.

Then we get to the behavior of members, including one parishioner who actively pursues married men within the church, to drug use at Shrine Mont, to the ugly way parishioners talk to each other. The latter, of course, is typified by the messsage from a now college-aged parishioner, in which she urged me to commit suicide, while saying that my “name is mud in Alexandria.” (Given her reference point, I should hope so!)

Nor are these issues confined to members. For many years, office staff yelled and bullied people, there was a hoarder in the church office, and donations routinely went missing. One of the parish registers has been lost, and record keeping was a shambles. But Bob Malm refused to address any of these issues, despite the fact that they are explicitly within his job description. Of course, the latter was never an impediment, with Bob Malm once telling me apropos facilities issues, “I have neither the time nor the interest.” Must be nice to pick and choose.

All of this is best summed up when I criticized Bob Malm over his indifference to the fact that parishioners were leaving the church due to issues they had with him. His response? “Why should I give a fuck? People leave all the time.”

So much for Bob’s Jesus-babble about being called to love God and each other. But, to use another of Bob’s rather worn phrases, “It was a God-incidence.” How so? It revealed the reality behind the pretty whitewashed exterior of Planet Malm. (And before you ask, yes, there were multiple witnesses.)

When you visit Planet Malm, by all means enjoy the beautiful building, the friendly welcome, and the engaging sermons. But before you take the plunge, just know that right beneath the surface are layers of toxic filth. This is a church where the priest commits perjury; where the attorney for the parish, “Sugarland” Chiow, makes false statements of law and fact in court; where the church sues its own parishioners, subpoenas the dying, and deliberately misuses funds. 

In short, Grace Episcopal church is a whitewashed tomb, beautiful on the outside, and seemingly filled with glittering brass, flowers, candles and friendly people on the inside. But at its heart, Grace Church reeks of corruption, hypocrisy, decay and filth.

Keep Your Pledge Current!

Ever since Bob Malm’s $100,000 bonus, things have been a little tight money-wise for Grace Church. Don’t make Bob give up his month at the beach! Keep your pledge current! 





Monday, July 15, 2019

See for Yourself: Email Between Parishioner Kemp Williams and Bob Malm

One of the reasons it’s best to think twice about going to court is that your business winds up in the public eye. That’s a basic tenet of our legal system: That things are done in the light of day. Not in Star Chamber. Not in secret.

Of course, had Bob used an attorney who actually does civil litigation, he would have attempted to negotiate confidentiality during discovery. In this case, no effort was made to do so, nor would I have been receptive to that, given Jeff Chiow’s unprofessional resort to inflammatory rhetoric and various falsehoods in the documents that went out with his signature on them, including references to a fictional church shooting in the equally fictional town of “Sugarland Texas.”

And that is the case here. Having blundered into court, largely clueless, Bob Malm has exposed the inner working of St. Dysfunction, aka Grace Episcopal Church, and the results are not pretty.

Here’s an email exchange between Bob Malm and one the two coordinators for the ushers, Kemp Williams. The correspondence is interesting for multiple reasons, including Bob’s initial email, which appears to be an effort to stoke fears, and Kemp’s response, where inter alia, he falsely claims that I have visited the National Cathederal at some point in the last several years. I have not, having not been there since prior to the earthquake. In fact, on the day in question, I was at work, and have dozens of witnesses, as well as time records, to prove it. 

Moreover, you see Kemp blundering into discussions of mental illness, even though he and I haven’t so much as spoken in the last several years. Nor did I ever have any sense that Kemp has much knowledge of mental illness, such that he could speak intelligently to the issue. 

And nowhere do you see anything even remotely Christlike in the conversation, Jesus-babble notwithstanding. Instead, it’s the usual narcissistic St. Dysfunction mindset of, “It’s all about us and our needs.” Nowhere do you see anyone ask the question, “How can we work together to solve our concerns?” Nor do you see any concern for people who are assumed to be mentally ill.

Typical.

#fakechristians




Friday, July 12, 2019

See for Yourself: Bob Malm Contradicts Himself in Email Exchange With Easter Thompson

Here’s another good one from Bob Malm. On the one hand, Bob went to court, claiming that folks at Grace were “terrorized” by my Mom’s blog, which he claims I wrote. Yet in this email exchange with parishioner Easter Thompson, he claims no one at the church takes me seriously. So which is it?

Of course, Bob made a similar statement in January to the bishop, in which he said that his wife and daughter both take this more seriously than they should.

In the meantime, that begs the question: How did Easter Thompson get it in her head that my assertions are not based on fact/truth? Leaving aside the fact that I don’t recall God assigning Easter the role of “judge of all men,” there is written documention of almost every issue, ranging from Bob’s illegal use of restricted solicitations, to his bullying, to his order to parish staff to shun and exclude us, to his courtroom perjury. Nor do I see Easter making any effort to resolve the conflict, yet she proclaims herself a Christian.

Interesting that Easter is so comfortable passing judgment on others when she has no firsthand knowledge of the matter. It’s perhaps telling too that Bob felt no need to invoke the vestry prior to his decision to shun us. It’s only when he got pushback that he decided to pull in the vestry—a vestry that he has, on more than one occasion, apparently lied to, as evinced by the vestry’s “talking points,” in which he claims that we left on our own. If that’s the case, why then did Bob admit to the contrary during the meeting with the bishop?

No wonder people are abandoning organized religion. And you surely have to wonder what Easter’s objection is to the Anglican Consultative Commission’s work.

In the meantime, Easter, if you’re sick of stuff like my work on the Anglican Consultative Commission’s efforts, don’t friggin’ read it. And if you object to my actions, Easter, how about having the integrity to share your concerns directly with me, versus triangulating with Bob? It’s called having a spine. 

Ditto for Kemp Williams and his comments.






Tuesday, July 9, 2019

Polls Show Continuing Declines in Organized Religion; Trends Spell Trouble for Grace Church

The most recent Gallup poll results are out, and they confirm what Americans already know, which is that organized religion is in precipitous decline in the US. The grim news, which cuts across denominations and faith traditions, spells rough times ahead for Grace Episcopal, aka Planet Malm. Prospects probably are not much better for the Episcopal Diocese of Virginia.

According to Gallup, in the past 20 years the percentage of Americans with no formal church affiliation has more than doubled, from 8 percent to 19 percent. The number of respondents saying they are unsure, or who refused to respond, doubled during that time, from 2 percent to 4 percent. Other polls back this conclusion, with one revealing that only 2 percent of Americans in 1955 claimed no religion, but one in five now having no religion.

Moreover, one in four Americans never attend church, while fully one half of Americans report that they want clergy to have only limited involvement in their lives. And almost 2/3 of Americans distrust church, with confidence in church hitting an all-time low

That contrasts starkly with the clericalism of St. Dysfunction, with its absurdly overpaid and underproductive clergy. I mean, in what other job can you make $200K a year, spend a month at the beach every year, and operate almost entirely without oversight? Nor am I aware of Bob Malm ever volunteering at a homeless shelter, personally serving the needy, or even gracing Thanksgiving dinner at the church (a practice that has ended since I left the parish) with his presence? (Pun intended.)

It’s also true that church conflict, left unaddressed, can fester for decades to come, harming the church for generations. Given that Dysfunctional Bob manipulated perceptions of parishioners at multiple levels, particularly apropos this conflict, it will be very difficult for members of the church to recognize and address the problems facing the parish.

Nor is the diocese likely to be much help. Every bit as squirrelly as Dysfunctional Bob, we’re talking about a diocese that actually is willing to say in writing that perjury doesn’t count as long as it doesn’t result in conviction. And Melissa Hollerith’s connections to the very upper echelons of the Episcopal Church suggests that her perspective on such matters is unlikely to receive any criticism from the hierarchy. In other words, the only thing the Episcopal church appears to be good at is litigation, and ironically enough, that is almost always predicated on church canons — the very canons the church ignores when it so chooses.

One closing observation: As a priest in DioVA once said to me, “May God help whoever comes after Bob Malm. It surely won’t be pretty.”

That’s spot-on. If Grace Church is to survive, it must shift from its culture of clericalism and idol worship of its rector. Yet Grace is highly resistant to change, and members will turn on each other if they believe their prerogatives are threatened. To make matters worse, the heart of the problem with Dysfunctional Bob and Sugarland Chiow is that they have taught parishioners all the wrong ways to resolve conflict. In short, Grace is wedded to a self-destructive approach to conflict resolution that all but guarantees the continued decline of the church.

As things unfurl in the coming months, it will be interesting to see how the handful of real Christians at Planet Malm respond to things, and if their views are treated with respect.




Monday, July 8, 2019

Blog Passes 80,000 Hits, All Telling the Bad News of Bob Malm

Check it out! More than 80,000 hits on my blog, all spreading the bad news of Bob Malm and Planet Malm — where the atmosphere is pretty, but has frequent toxic gusts. Not suited for normal life forms.




Saturday, July 6, 2019

Bob Malm’s Claim to Be Building Jesus’ Church Meets with Derisive Laughter

You have to hand is to Bob Malm: His hypocrisy is unparalleled. Bob may engage in shunning, bullying, perjury. He may subpoena the dying, call those entrusted to his care “domestic terrorists,” and more. Yet he’s an expert at trotting out the Jesus-babble and wrapping himself in the illusory mantel of faith.

That said, his latest bit of Jesus-babble is so over the top that family members and friends alike burst into raucous laughter when they read it. 

In the July/August edition of the Grace parish newsletter, Grace Notes, Bob gasses on about building the church, saying:

“Our future depends on our building in the present—building a strong, healthy community of faithful believers who will pray, work and give to extend the work of Jesus Christ. Each one of us has a job to do; each one of us is a builder. Jesus is depending upon us to build his Church in our day and time.”

Not only has Bob done nothing to build the church, but his demands to be treated like clergy royalty have greatly hindered the church. His overly generous compensation package erodes confidence in the church and disincentives giving, since Bob gets 1 out of every 5 dollars given to the church. Nor has Bob busted his fat ass to build the church; rather, 12 percent or more of his time “on the clock” is spent on vacation, “out of town,” or otherwise unavailable.

It goes further. 

Thanks to Bob’s perjury, his repeated instances of misconduct, his flouting of church canons, and his numerous petty power plays and games, Bob has done more damage to the church than any ACANA dissident could ever hope to achieve. Some of the damage Bob has inflicted directly; other damage is caused by his bad example, combined with the lack of integrity of people like David Crosby and Sugarland Chiow, who refuse to call a spade a spade and acknowledge Bob’s perjury and other misconduct.

But truly hilarious is Bob’s linking of Paul’s discussion of building the church with the HVAC project now underway at Grace. Paul wrote from a dismal stone prison cell prior to his death; Dysfunctional Bob writes as Grace plays catch-up on hundreds of thousands of dollars of overdue HVAC work on a building that, like Bob Malm, is fast becoming an archaic, irrelevant piece of history. Jesus had little use for the power and prestige of organized religion; Dysfunctional Bob truly believes that he is somehow special. Jesus rejected the Scribes and Pharisees and their hypocrisy; Bob is the consummate example of a modern-day Scribe/Pharisee.

If nothing else, Bob is the source of the occasional good laugh.






Thursday, July 4, 2019

See for Yourself: Bob Malm Refers to Me as a “Sad Individual, Starving for Attention” in an Email to the St. Dysfunction Vestry

Here we have another email in which Bob Malm tries to discredit me by referring to me as a “sad individual, starved for attention.” That’s a curious claim, since I state in writing in December 2017 that I wanted no further contact from Bob Malm.

As always, we see a total lack of appropriate pastoral presence on Bob Malm’s part, as well as the usual organizational narcissism of St. Dysfunction. And the “constant support” of the diocese—yet another reason to throw in the towel when it comes to the Diocese of Virginia.

BTW, where can I get an “itched” window? Bob’s window surely must make him the center of attention! LOL

#fakechristians





Love Your Neighbor....

Unless Bob Malm decides otherwise!




Tuesday, July 2, 2019

A Shout-Out to Jason Roberson

I suppose this is the point where I’m supposed to welcome you to Grace Church. But, having been declared persona non grata by Dysfunctional Bob, that doesn’t seem appropriate. And besides, after my experiences with Grace Episcopal, Bob Malm, and DioVA, I’m done. Done with The Episcopal Church, and done with organized religion.

That said, I wanted to comment on your arrival. Specifically, you talk on your Facebook page about standing with the marginalized, and transforming unjust systems. Believe it or not, I like that. But I don’t understand how you can reconcile that with the fact that Bob Malm commits perjury, bears false witness, and subpoenas the dying.

Of course, Bob’s worked hard on his smear campaign, so you’ll hear lots of ugly comments about me at Grace. That’s par for the course, given parishioners gossiping about everything from the recently married guy in the church (supposedly gay), to someone with a penile implant. Seriously.

But if you are serious about social justice, I challenge you to ask Bob for his proof that my mother, or someone claiming to be her, repeatedly set up appointments with him and canceled. Bob said that, in writing, under oath, citing it as part of his claim that he’d been threatened.

So, I doubt you’re serious about these things. But if you are, show me. Like Doubting Thomas, I’ll believe it when I see it.

In the meantime, I’ll probably see you while I’m out protesting. Feel free to “stand with me” any time. Or if you really want to surprise me, call me or email me. You’d be only the second person in the parish to actually talk with me about things.

So, let’s see how sincere you really are.

Game on.




Really Scary

After wasting more than $1 million since 2004 on feckless priest Dysfunctional Bob, the church will probably take up a purse for him when he leaves. Pretty ironic, given how Bob’s action’s have damaged Grace Church.




Sunday, June 30, 2019

Why Do Bystanders Ignore Abuse?

Following is a screen cap of an excellent Twitter thread from Wade Mullen, a baptist minister who does a lot of work on abuse. 

Find Wade on Twitter at @wad3mullen.




Leafleting and Protests This Week

As promised, protests and leafleting continue this week. Specifically, I’ll be doing the few remaining streets left undone in Del Ray, a few small side streets in Beverly Hills, and a larger chunk of Potomac Yards.

I’ll also be protesting at least two days this week, with plans under way for adding several new fora to my Rita.

Fun times on Planet Malm!

Saturday, June 29, 2019

Protests and Dysfunctional Bob’s Retirement

With news of Dysfunctional Bob’s retirement now official (and woefully overdue), someone asked if things here at BobMalm.com will change. The answer, at least for now, is a resounding “Hell no!”

Why? The answer is easy. It’s because of the complicity of people like Sugarland Chiow, with his inflammatory rhetoric, various courtroom falsehoods, and efforts to bully the dying. It’s about the Lisa Medley’s and Leslie Malm’s of the church, with their lies. It’s about the Eric Waskowiscz’s and Amy Medrick’s of the parish, with their middle fingers in the air, testifying to the reality of their Christian faith.  It’s about the Alison Campbell’s who don’t see any conflict between bullying people and their claim to be Christians (or feel justified based on their faulty understanding of my conflict with Kelly Gable.) And it’s about the college-aged parishioner who thinks it’s okay to urge people to commit suicide. (That BTW, is a sign of a seriously skewed ethical reference point and an utterly bankrupt “Christian” faith as well as possible mental illness.) 

Then we have Kirk Steffensen threatening Mike’s job, Leslie Steffensen and her innuendo to third parties that I can’t be trusted with money, and the fabrications from Bob Malm’s kids, claiming I steered work to AES; wonder who gave them that idea. Not.

And the list goes on.

It’s also about all those referenced above who dutifully drag their children to church, never thinking that their children are or someday will be smart enough to recognize the hypocrisy of their parents. (Does Sugarland Chiow really think his kids will read his various courtroom fabrications and still consider themselves to be Christians? Or see that their father supported Dysfunctional Bob’s facially obvious taking words out of context as part of his request for a protective order? Or not understand that doing so is every bit as much a lie as telling an outright falsehood? Color Jeff and his wife clueless.)

In short, Grace Episcopal church is mired in hypocrisy and conflict after 30 years of Dysfunctional Bob. It is a toxic church and will continue to be a toxic church long after Dysfunctional Bob drags his lazy, fat, perjuring carcass off to Jekyll Island.

For the record, nothing I have seen suggests that people at the church understand what a screwed up place it is, or how many people have been hurt, both by Bob’s narcissism and by the church’s organizational narcissism.

Moreover, people need to know that this is how Grace Church rolls. Yes, people are friendly, but that in no way offsets the abusive behavior that occurs at every level of the church. Those considering getting involved in the church need to know that this sort of thing is part and parcel of life on Planet Malm.

Oh, and beginning February 2020, should Dysfunctional Bob decide to work as an interim or supply clergy, I or others may show up to protest. People need to know that this is the sort of priest that Bob is.

So, no changes here. 




Wednesday, June 12, 2019

Update: Leafleting

A combination of pleasant weather over the past few days and Bob Malm’s recent tantrum on Russell Road, together with some recent improvements in operational efficiency, have led to.me stepping up leafleting in the Alexandria area. 

Plans are to do 1000 homes on Friday, weather permitting. I’ve also been invited to speak on an podcast about abusive churches that day. And I hope to protest somewhere in the city during the next few days.

Details to come!





Saturday, June 8, 2019

More Media Coverage Coming!

Breaking news! More media coverage of Dysfunctional Bob, Sugarland Chiow, and the #fakechristians crowd at Grace Episcopal. 

Coming July 4 weekend, to a media outlet near you!